Deb Curreen Author

I’ve been watching the news again on the terror-vision, the window of doom into my sitting room and I wonder if anywhere is sacred anymore.                                                 Do the sea lions know they are no longer protected?  that some fullah too fat to fish anymore is removing the protection from their lives, while children begin to starve on the playgrounds.                                                                                                  Who really cares? Shrugs a heartless coalition, as a couple of politicians turn their coats over on potholes, they’re never going to fix… and ...

  In 2019, I lost one of my best friends in the Christchurch mosque shooting. This is what the world is like now without her.  RIP Pikelet 💚💔 The light in my heart that was you There is a light in my heart, that searches for you, in a dark place of loss where the earth no longer holds colour, only shadows of a thousand yesterdays while faint laughter carries across eternity teasing my   memories.   The light in my heart listens, for that song rolling out on the radio, notes and lyrics pulling me back to those days of dancing, leaping, shouting, our spontaneity making the kitchen a dance floor of sweat, laughter, alcohol, heartbeats, more.   The light in my heart holds, my last email to you, the final poem I wrote, a shirt that you made for me, black and gold, too small now, and a handful of photos of you, always smiling, always dressed up, colourful and gay, happy beside me.   The light in my heart remembers, ...

 As I stand in the place of our meeting, in a paddock of winnowing golden grasses, summer winds stroke my arms, while tall and silent mountains smile down upon me, the whispering voices speak to my heart and as I it all comes back,  i feel everything.   I kneel beside a riverbed of yesterdays,  waiting at night for the ghosts to embrace me. Yet still I wonder.... How can I say good-bye to you? Every you and every day, all the moments held in crystal nights, a love that never left me, but has waited here until today. I am back in the town where we met, on the streets that melt with the summer sunshine of January and a new years day, with hallowed homes and winding driveways, where my feet tussle with the dust and memories of forty years  waiting for the return, Of you, and me. All that is mine, I have carried with me until now, and I can't quite stand, the stillness of all that ever was and can never be again, pulsing in the air that I can barely breathe, se...

 I have no self esteem... is a laughable line, from a terrible time, inside a dream that soon went dark, and I found my life and all that was dear, slide down the plughole, into a terrifying, nightmare. Like Stephen King had come to stay, bringing monsters that wanted to play, inside  my head and with my heart, as they messed  with my hopes my desires... they were running around,  all through the house  trying to turn my whole life into fire. I pushed them away, I closed the door, I forbade those creatures from crossing my floor. when down the chimney flew some bats, python snakes and tricked out cats. "We've come to take your esteem away, we're going to make your confidence pay." I looked at them, well fancy that, they'd pissed me off, I'd deal with that. I got my gun, I shot them down, their screams were heard all over town. "She's shooting bullshit," the locals said, "I hope she got them in the head." I sat down in my comfy chair, I ...

  I was going to Nelson and Golden Bay too, I was away for a week there  So I sent a message to you. "Hey Redneck, I'm doing a roadie I want you to come. Don't worry about money, I have plenty and some. (Well, not really that much, So when we sometimes do takeaways  perhaps we could go Dutch?!)  I booked you a ticket, for a ride on the plane, I'll meet you at the airport, you can't say no, you'd be insane. I've hired a comfy car, that will be taking us far, we'll go to Blenheim and Picton,' then down to Kaikoura! I'll show you the mountains,  the rivers and sea, hopefully whales, and the wildlife that runs free. Then over to Takaka and the beautiful Golden Bay, I'll show you all the places  where you're mum used to stay. All the homes and the houses, a commune or two, and even some campsites, where I slept beneath the moon. Then's it back to our cabin, in the bush, up a hill, nestled away, peacefully private and still. We'll go t...

 I'm off to join the convicts, because I know I'm going to jail. I know I promised myself and the world, I wouldn't write poems about any friend, but I have, I just can't help myself, so poetry jail will be my end. I hope to make new friends in there, someone new to write about. I hope my words will make them sing and laugh, and dance and jump about. I hope I don't upset anyone, I don't want to get thrown out. Because where do you go after jail, when you can no longer stay, where do the fallen poets go, when their words cause outrage and dismay. Is there a dark and dreary dungeon, where ostracised wordsmiths dwell? A place to sit and mutter, a room that smells like hell. Even though my subjects were anonymous, you could still guess their names, I always new my verses were dicey, but I still played that tricky, slippery game. My editor tried to warn me, but her words sailed straight past my ear, "people can get upset, so stop making fun of them with your wor...

. The sun is bright and a soft wind blows calmly through your window, I say, "Listen to that singing outside, what can it be?" "It's the tuis,' you say, "they're waiting for me." "But not today," I said, and you laughed with me, "not today, I'm not ready, they will have to wait." I agreed, no one was ready yet, and you stayed for a while longer. They returned the next day, and the next, those tuis sang together, and we came to enjoy their boisterous chorus. "They're still here," I told you. "Yes," you said, "but it's sunny, so they can just stay in the trees and cry," We laughed together, as we watched the tuis in the kowhai, harmonising together, in the branches that touched the sky. I stand over you, some days later, the sky was grey and the clouds hung lower than broken hearts, you were gone, leaving us quietly, in the early morn. I looked in the kowhai but the tuis were also gone. You...