Deb Curreen Author

"We mourn not for what we have lost but for we thought we should have had." - Millie Pariri Many years ago at the end of my second marriage, when I was feeling a bit sad, I realised that I wasn't sad because my marriage was over, I was sad because I had never really had a happy marriage to now mourn. In fact, I was mourning for something that I thought that I should have had and possibly all the wasted years that I had lost trying to get it. I mourned for the happy marriage that I had been denied, that I'd "missed" out on and now had lost all hope of having, at least with that person. I was in fact mourning a dead dream. A very big one and now a very dead one - the dream and the marriage. This year I have pondered and prayed, read, examined and wrestled over disappointment - it's causes and consequences. Disappointment is, to me and others, the root of all letdowns and tears. In recent times I haven't been too disappointed either by others

Cracking crawfish, sinking Johnnie Walker, bombs away, till the pinkness of a new dawn creeps over a river of Life. Banishing ghosts of ancestors, as a sun rises over willows sweeping the days gone by. Make me as copacetic as humble pie, brimming with cream, spilling the fruits of our labours, that buried the shame of too much excess, the nights forgotten, down by the banks of sunsets lost. Let copacetic reign on a new day full of mercy. I am excellent, in order, seething with life, screaming a pardon of love over the waves of dread. Crushing spite, spitting bullets, hoping against death that another day will rise, sinking transgressions beneath barrels of pain, then I will sigh… copacetic as a big Mon, noble as an Oak on the big Bayou.

I don't want to go to the cemetery, but I will, and stand by your grave in the cold, with dying flowers in my hand. It's lonely and cloudy with no one about, my flowers will die in the rain. just like hope did on a grey June day. I don't want to visit the cemetery, you're not there, and I can hum Green Day songs till I'm a basket case, but I will hope against hope, and pull you from my memories, till you laugh out loud, and all becomes well with my soul. I will put on some loud music, pour a drink while you tune your guitar, then you can play something fast, and my friends will all dance, together, with all of our hearts. We know you are just missing not gone, absent, unforgotten, a pearl of great price, carried in our hearts, precious cargo, waiting at another station. Resting, till we all arrive, glorious, loud and happy to be home, at last, with you, beloved boy, missing brother, loyal friend, and eternal companio

Whilst in a conversation with a friend the other day, who recently had an accident and is now being treated for a concussion, we touched on the subject of emotional abuse, especially within a marriage or relationship. I commented that a punch would be better as it takes months and often years to untangle all the nasty words from your brain, heart, life. Concussions and emotional beatings are not dissimilar. The heart, like the brain, is a very delicate organ, vital to a healthy functioning body. When either becomes damaged almost everything physically is affected ie. your breathing, eating, sleeping, etc. and day to day living starts to get a bit hard and often unmanageable, difficult or nearly impossible in the worst cases. My youngest brother, before he took his life in 2006, suffered a huge concussion in a car accident so after his death I researched concussions and closed head injuries. A closed head injury is when your head receives a massive blow but there is no bleedin

Is Facebook or farcebook as I like to call it, really the root of all evil or perhaps like money, it is the love of facebook that is the root of evil. As a free marketing or advertising tool, you really can't beat it. Especially those free buy, sell, swap pages which must be causing the likes of TradeMe, eBay, etc. to take a big hit. Good job Facebook! There is the part of facebook that has been well-documented by counselors, shrinks, Doctors and media personalities, so I won't dwell on it, and that is the effect "likes" and "hates" on social media, have not just teenagers but everyone. Pictures of my dogs always get loves and likes...I don't know if I have ever had any angry faces but I have had some of what I thought were my brilliant posts, ignored!?  That could be interpreted as "a hate." Maybe?? It's also very interesting who you end up viewing when you see old friends or long lost family members "like" your friends

Tomorrow I am having a book launch for my first book of poems that I self-published last year (this is 2019) Here is my checklist of things to do and take before tomorrow morning.: Books !!!!! Pens Speech Revise speech Print speech and revise again and print, check one more time… Select 20 outfits then choose one Buy wine for book launch celebrations to be held later in the day Paint nails Change outfit choice Remember books and business cards Water Choose shoes or boots to wear? Stockings - what colour? Change nail polish shade Find favorite lipstick and perfume Change outfit and buy a new jacket and pair of boots and another nail polish just in case and an extra lipstick Iron outfit, polish shoes Revise speech, print, check Remove nail polish and repaint in the new shade Group message everyone to pray Delete the message and send to a new group with a new message Change outfit one last time Put books, pens, change of shoes and jacket and lipstick, pens, water,

Amidst the night and the light lived a little someone with a big soft heart not yet scarred with life. who would cry a little bit with shivering breathes a jittery soul that felt a little hard on the outside, hidden trembly times . In that scaredy cat crash. I was sure I was up, but down I tumbled down the stairs,  cobwebs, dust and musty old piles of swallowed forgotten fears. But it was just the night old dark waiting for a strong day, as diamonds twisted blowing  away the clouds.