We mourn not for what we have lost
"We mourn not for what we have lost but for we thought we should have had."
- Millie Pariri
Many years ago at the end of my second marriage, when I was feeling a bit sad, I realised that I wasn't sad because my marriage was over, I was sad because I had never really had a happy marriage to now mourn.
In fact, I was mourning for something that I thought that I should have had and possibly all the wasted years that I had lost trying to get it.
I mourned for the happy marriage that I had been denied, that I'd "missed" out on and now had lost all hope of having, at least with that person.
I was in fact mourning a dead dream.
A very big one and now a very dead one - the dream and the marriage.
This year I have pondered and prayed, read, examined and wrestled over disappointment - it's causes and consequences.
Disappointment is, to me and others, the root of all letdowns and tears.
In recent times I haven't been too disappointed either by others or life but I am always cautious of setting myself up for a tumble in the drain, an unexpected appointment with dismay.
It's never far away and along with grief, it is one of those shuddery, tummy plummets that you never forget as hope hisses from your heart in a single gasp.
In life, we sometimes have high expectations over low circumstances.
The facts and truth about a situation, a job, a long-held dream or people(s) will whisper in our ears, stare us in the face, but still, we build a sandcastle of false reasoning around a pipe dream.
Eventually, this causes a mourning for something we think we have lost but in reality, we have lost nothing more than a pipe dream, a fantasy built in the void of waiting and leaning on our imperfect understanding.
Disappointment, dismay, disrepair all storm in together.
Any time a word is preceded by "dis", a cancellation has occurred.
dis- 1. a Latin prefix meaning “apart,” “asunder,” “away,” “utterly,” or having a privative, negative, or reversing force; used freely, especially with these latter senses, as an English formative: disability; disaffirm; disbar; disbelief; discontent; dishearten; dislike; disown.
What was once a sure thing has now disappeared, all hope gone and nothing to take its place.
We are now mourning the empty and unexpected hole in our lives and wondering what will ever fill that space again.
Psalm 27:13
For surely I would have fainted unless I had believed
- Millie Pariri
Many years ago at the end of my second marriage, when I was feeling a bit sad, I realised that I wasn't sad because my marriage was over, I was sad because I had never really had a happy marriage to now mourn.
In fact, I was mourning for something that I thought that I should have had and possibly all the wasted years that I had lost trying to get it.
I mourned for the happy marriage that I had been denied, that I'd "missed" out on and now had lost all hope of having, at least with that person.
I was in fact mourning a dead dream.
A very big one and now a very dead one - the dream and the marriage.
This year I have pondered and prayed, read, examined and wrestled over disappointment - it's causes and consequences.
Disappointment is, to me and others, the root of all letdowns and tears.
In recent times I haven't been too disappointed either by others or life but I am always cautious of setting myself up for a tumble in the drain, an unexpected appointment with dismay.
It's never far away and along with grief, it is one of those shuddery, tummy plummets that you never forget as hope hisses from your heart in a single gasp.
In life, we sometimes have high expectations over low circumstances.
The facts and truth about a situation, a job, a long-held dream or people(s) will whisper in our ears, stare us in the face, but still, we build a sandcastle of false reasoning around a pipe dream.
Eventually, this causes a mourning for something we think we have lost but in reality, we have lost nothing more than a pipe dream, a fantasy built in the void of waiting and leaning on our imperfect understanding.
Disappointment, dismay, disrepair all storm in together.
Any time a word is preceded by "dis", a cancellation has occurred.
dis- 1. a Latin prefix meaning “apart,” “asunder,” “away,” “utterly,” or having a privative, negative, or reversing force; used freely, especially with these latter senses, as an English formative: disability; disaffirm; disbar; disbelief; discontent; dishearten; dislike; disown.
What was once a sure thing has now disappeared, all hope gone and nothing to take its place.
We are now mourning the empty and unexpected hole in our lives and wondering what will ever fill that space again.
Psalm 27:13
For surely I would have fainted unless I had believed
to see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
in the land of the living.
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